I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
