Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How naked do you want me to be?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
