would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
