yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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