is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize