ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
