I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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