What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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