I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
