how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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