Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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