You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
