ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dick very happy bro
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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