M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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