Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize