I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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