Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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