i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My vagina is officially offended.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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