I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
