why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
