How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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