i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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