bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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