i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
