Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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