he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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