Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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