there's paper in my vomit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
