Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i think i just lost a toe
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
