Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
