If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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