is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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