hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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