ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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