i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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