what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
