yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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