Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come share oat with me in your robe
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how drunk are you?
Several
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
