I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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