the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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