so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
