I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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