I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
