My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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