how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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