Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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