perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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