he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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