Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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