Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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