Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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