nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
