My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
