mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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