I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
