So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
