So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
