Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize