so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Houston, we have a squirter
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
