Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We got so high we made milksteak
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
