Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
