Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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