Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize