..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my being single is dangerous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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