Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
