Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
