He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
