We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
