Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
