What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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