Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
