I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
