That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
