a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
